Keeping Punjabi when the children are growing up elsewhere
Why it usually goes in one generation, what actually keeps a language alive in a house, and why a child who answers in English is not a failure.
The pattern is well known and it is quick. The first generation speaks Punjabi. The second understands it and answers in English. The third asks what their grandmother said. Nobody decides for this to happen; it happens while everybody is busy.
If it matters to you, the useful thing to know is that it is not about effort or classes. It is about how many hours a week the language is genuinely needed.
What actually keeps it
- One adult who only speaks Punjabi to the child, consistently, over years
- A grandparent on a video call who does not speak English, which turns Punjabi into the thing standing between the child and someone they love
- Punjabi as the language of ordinary life, not of instruction: food, jokes, arguments, football
- Other children who also speak it, which is worth more than any number of adults
The mistake most houses make
Correcting. A child who is corrected every time they get a gender or a tense wrong learns that speaking Punjabi is a test they fail and English is where they are competent. The research on this is consistent enough to act on: let them speak badly. Fluency comes from use, not accuracy.
Answer in Punjabi when they speak English to you. Do not make it a rule, a punishment or a performance for relatives.
Speaking and reading are different projects
A child can be fluent and unable to read a word of Gurmukhi, and the script is a separate, later, and much more deliberate piece of work. Weekend classes, gurdwara classes and community schools exist in most cities with a Punjabi population, and Punjabi University at Patiala publishes material for learners. Decide which of the two you actually want, because trying to do both at once is how families give up on both.
The visit is the strongest tool you have
Six weeks in the pind where nobody accommodates them does more than a year of lessons. Cousins matter more than adults. If a long stay is part of your plan, that is the thing worth building around.
What the pind is for
Ask on the Pind Board. People raising children in Melbourne, Birmingham and Brampton are doing this now, and what actually worked in their house is worth more than any general advice, including this.